Feeling Hopeless

Letter: "I don't know why I'm writing this - it's so unlike me to actually feel 'hopeless.' I am a single mom raising two teenaged boys. After my youngest was assaulted on the way to school last year, I quit a decent job in television to start my own marketing/p.r. business out of my home. I had two clients that, at the time, which enabled me to make more than I had working for the tv station. And then in March, one of the clients and I parted ways. We had very different expectations. Ultimately, we each had contrasting views over what my role would be. That cut my income in half.

I have attracted one new client - but at a third of what my former client paid. And now, I'm in debt (deeply). And now, I'm in debt (deeply), my account is overdrawn because my other significant client "got behind" and didn't put in my automatic payment into my account until yesterday - and it takes 24-72 hours for it to show up (they had told me it was going to be put in last Thursday)! My ex's child support is late and I don't even have enough money to pay for groceries until the money shows up. I'm terrified that checks will bounce and I'll be left with nothing.

I can't sleep. My stomach is in knots. I almost feel as if my kids would be better off with their dad. He's very well off and could afford to give them everything I can't.

I don't know how to get out of this poverty mentality. I don't know why I have such feelings of lack when it comes to my finances. Tomorrow I have a meeting with a potential client and I can't even focus on putting together a presentation for him. It's as if I already know that he won't want to work with me, let alone PAY me. I get so up for things, I have such great expectations and then everything falls flat.

In ALL other areas of my life, I'm doing well. My kids are terrific - good hearts, straight-A students, excellent athletes. I don't have weight issues.

I don't have problems with my relationships with the opposite sex. It's just that MONEY seems to be slipping out of my grasp.

Quite honestly, I do believe that money buys a fair amount of happiness. At least for me, knowing what I've gone through these past years, it would buy some peace of mind. And that's what I want. Freedom and peace of mind. To go where I want. To do what I want. To FEEL how I want to feel.

Can you help me get out of this negative spiral?"

A Reader

Rebecca's reply:

"Dear Reader,

Thanks so much for writing. And I hope you are feeling better. YEP. I've been there a few times. I can remember days when all I could do was walk around the house saying, 'I just want to feel good' over and over. Eventually, I did start to feel better. Now, feeling good is my dominant feeling.

Actually, you are an excellent 'attractor'--look at what you are telling your self about money and then notice how you are attracting more of the same.

If I were coaching you, I would ask you to take a piece of paper, and draw a big letter T on it. Then label the left column “I don’t want” and the right hand column, ‘”I do want”.

First make a list of everything you don’t want. Just use the letter you sent to me and write down stuff like:

I don’t want clients paying me late.

I don’t want cheap clients who can’t afford to pay what I’m worth.

I don't want child support payments to be late.

Get all the negatives OUT of yourself and onto paper.

Then go through each item, and ask your self, “If I don’t want this, what do I want?” and write down what you DO want in the right hand column.

When you’ve written a ‘Do Want’ for each item on the left, FOLD THE PAPER down the middle so you are looking at the 'Do Want' list. Keep that list in front of you at all times. Start to imagine what it would feel like having clients who JOYFULLY pay for your services. How wonderful it is when the Child Support checks arrive a day early!  Work at keeping your FOCUS on what you DO WANT. If you start to think or talk about something on the ‘Don’t Want’ side, just say, “I’ve dealt with that, AND what I DO want is…”

The T-tool is the BEST Law of Attraction Tool for getting clarity! And once you have clarity, what you want IS on its way to you.

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